Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Translation of Mitt Romney's 2008 RNC Speech

On the need to change the culture of government in Washington:

"We need change all right - change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! Forget that we have a liberal Washington because 6 years of a conservative one screwed us in the first place. We have a prescription for every American (with health insurance) who wants change in Washington - throw out the big government liberals and elect John McCain. Or me in 2012."

On why John McCain is best qualified to be our next president:

"The Right course is the one championed by Ronald Reagan 30 years ago, and by John McCain today. It is to reign in government spending and lower taxes, for taking a weed-whacker to excessive regulation and mandates, for putting a stop to tort windfalls, and to stand up to the Tyrannosaurus appetite of government unions. Show that you love your country by making it's leaders wealthier!"

"And at Saddleback, after Barack Obama dodged and ducked every direct question, John McCain hit the nail on the head (because he had the answers in advance): radical Islam is evil, and he will defeat it! Republicans prefer straight talk to politically correct talk! And when people don't agree with us, we prefer to either not show up or duck the questions!"

On the dangers of big government:

"Liberals would replace opportunity with dependency on government largesse. Do I need to explain what "largesse" means to you hillbillies? They would grow government and raise taxes to put more people on Medicaid, to work requirements out of welfare, and to grow the ranks of those who pay no taxes at all. Dependency is death to initiative, risk-taking and opportunity. It also raises my tax bill! It's time to stop the spread of government dependency to fight it like the poison it is! It's time for the party of big ideas, not the party of Big Brother! So we're finally going to get out of the lives of pregnant women and gays!!! Oh wait..."

On why the McCain-Palin ticket is the right choice for the future of America:

"Just like you, there has never been a day when I was not proud to be an American, especially since I'm white and rich. We inherited (stole) the greatest nation in the history of the earth. It is our burden and privilege to preserve it, to renew its spirit so that its noble past is prologue to its glorious future. To this we are all dedicated and I firmly believe by the providence of the Almighty Joseph Smith, that we will succeed. President McCain and Vice President Palin (her?) will keep America as it has always been - the hope of the world (excluding the 40-50 countries that hate us)."