applying the Secret to pressure situations

I haven't read The Secret. Don't claim to be an expert on what "it" is, as I think "it" is mostly marketing hype and repackaged placebo for the masses. But, applying what I think "it" should be may have helped me find a stumbling block in my past relationships and hopefully a way out of repeating history.

We all have wants and desires. Sometimes, without a modicum of effort, we find ourselves closer to these desires that we think we'd be if we tried to obtain them. Love is a primary example. So is winning, in sports. Trying to win, or trying to find love usually results in less than the end goal. However enjoying the game and just playing, and loving the process, and wanting to get better at it, will more often than not yield better results.

I think, as you get closer to the goal, the natural tendency is to break from what you're doing and to do something different to protect the goal. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I tend to think that more often than not, it results in "choking." Whether it's losing a lead in a game, missing a key foul shot, having a crappy sophomore album, or blowing it when you meet a girl you really like.

So I wonder, how do you stop thinking and focus on what got you there? Maybe you got there by not taking little things seriously and looking at the big picture. Maybe you got there by living in the moment. Or maybe it's the opposite, and you got there by focusing on the little actions.